How are Social Networking Sites Affecting Teens with Asperger's?
You don't have to look far. Social networking sites are everywhere, and they are changing the social lives of teens worldwide. With more than 100 million users, sites like MySpace and Facebook present challenges for parents of "neurotypical" teenagers, as well as parents of children with special needs. But for the parents of a child with Asperger's syndrome (AS), these sites present particularly complex issues.
Do social networking sites help or hurt individuals with Asperger's syndrome? The answer is both. On the one hand, these sites often help kids cultivate valuable social connections and skills, build confidence, and can have a therapeutic effect. The Internet offers people with Asperger's the communication and friendship they desire without the stress, embarrassment, and potential misunderstandings of in-person interactions. Some sites even offer special support groups for people with Asperger's and their loved ones.
On the other hand, "Aspies" can sometimes become dependent on these sites, using them as a substitute for human contact rather than learning the social skills that will improve their quality of life. Because individuals with Asperger's and other autism spectrum disorders can be inflexible and tend toward obsession, Internet addiction can become a serious concern. There is also the frightening possibility of cyberbullying, as well as the many well-known safety threats in the online world.
So what is the parent of a child with Asperger's to do? The key, as with most things, is education, balance, and moderation. Here are a few tips for parents trying to keep their children with Asperger's safe online:
Talk to your child about Internet safety. Just because your child has Asperger's or an autism spectrum disorder does not mean she won't be exposed to people with questionable intentions or other common Internet hazards. Talk to your child about the risks of sharing information online and let them know they can come to you if they feel threatened or uncomfortable with anything happening online. Explain the nature of the Internet and the fact that sometimes teachers, friends, coaches, and even potential employers may be able to view your child's page. And finally, be particularly diligent in monitoring any photographs or videos posted by your child.
Use privacy settings. Most social networking sites allow you to restrict who can access and post on your child's site. As a parent, you may not have a clue as to how social networking sites work. Take time to learn about a site's policies, read the "Frequently Asked Questions" section, and familiarize yourself with its features. Some sites are riskier than others. Sit down with your child and explain why certain information, like their full name, Social Security number, street address, phone number, and bank or credit card account numbers are private and cannot be shared with anyone at any time, especially online. Also warn your child against flirting or talking about sex with strangers online and meeting new online friends in person.
Discuss cyberbullying. Online bullying has become a serious problem as sites like MySpace and Facebook have grown in popularity. Your child's peers may spread rumors online, post private messages or information about your child, make vicious jokes, or send intimidating messages. Because students with Asperger's tend to be socially withdrawn and awkward at school, and more gullible and trusting with their private information, they may be in greater danger of cyberbullying than others. Make sure your child understands the power of words and open a dialogue about what to do if he or she is being bullied.
Encourage activities that take them away from the computer. Find activities, social clubs, or other interests that will get your child with Asperger's out of the house and help him network with peers face-to-face. A private school, camp, or residential program that specializes in helping teens with Asperger's or other autism spectrum disorders can provide the structure needed to stop depending on electronics for social connections. Many programs offer a huge variety of extracurricular activities, such as music, art, rock climbing, kayaking, ropes courses, and even week-long adventure trips that are sure to develop your child's social skills, build self-esteem, and teach independent living skills.
Set clear limits around computer time. Computers are an important academic and social tool for children and adolescents. Even though parents can't completely eliminate Internet dangers from the home, they can set clear boundaries around the amount of time their child spends online, the sites she visits, and the time of day she can be online. Keep all computers in the house in an open area like the kitchen or family room where you can supervise your child's Internet usage. And check out the Web sites they frequent so you can understand the nature of the sites, why these sites appeal to your child with Asperger's, and who is on their friends list.
Try to compromise. Many seasoned parents can speak to how hard it is to compromise with a teenager. Compromise can be particularly difficult for adolescents with Asperger's syndrome. Social networking sites take on special significance for students with autism spectrum disorders like Asperger's because they provide a comfortable, non-intimidating outlet to the outside world. Children with special needs rely on sites like MySpace and Facebook to connect with their peers, so they may be exceedingly reluctant accept limitations on their computer use. Kids with Asperger's can be unusually logic-oriented, so parents may need to explain the purpose behind any limits being set. If your child needs professional assistance with setting and accepting boundaries, developing meaningful social interactions and skills, or coping with the challenges of Asperger's or other autism spectrum disorders, you may want to consider a residential program or school that specializes in helping teens with behavioral or learning disorders.